Breast V Bottle- An honest account.

Rather than defend either I thought I would give the benefits and the negatives I have found during my own experience of feeding my babies.

We’ll start with formula feeding as that’s where I started.


Really really satisfying measuring the powder with the scooper and leveling it out on the corner of the tin. It only gets better too as time goes on and you get to do it more as their OZ’s increase.

Likewise you can get really creative with your shaking methods, experiment, find a rhythm you like and let yourself go.

Anyone can feed the baby; you, your partner, that overbearing woman Jill from mums and tots. You don’t need to worry about going out and leaving the baby. Date night is a possibility! Jill’s probably got your back.


It smells like Horlicks*

Once the dregs have been in the bottle 2 weeks and you find it down the back of the sofa, it will smell like 7 layers of hell when you tip it down the sink.

Some weeks you will have to weigh up whether to do the weekly shop or stock up on milk. It is so expensive, don’t even think about opting for the organic stuff. I’d suggest buying whatever is on offer.

Oh yeah that’s right! None are on offer because it is illegal to give formula feeding parents a bloody break.

Onto breastfeeding we go..


Its free.

It is, as far as I know, lacking in any noticeable smell.

When your milk production has settled down after a couple of months you can enjoy taking selfies of your over spilling cleavage whilst strategically posing in a way that hides your mum tum**

Only you can feed the baby and you are the leading authority in this. If you decide the baby needs feeding every evening just as the dishes need doing, so be it.


Prepare to have a slightly moist chest area for the duration.

Baked potato’s don’t reach the temperatures that a sweaty summer baby hits when latched on during a humid night in August.

You have to pretend to care about your alcohol consumption (it doesn’t matter) 

You’re the only person who can feed the baby. At any point. Be it 3 am when the rest of the family is snoozing or at the local coffee morning when you are pretty sure that old guy with the feather in his hat is ogling your tits, its all on you hunneh!

*My Mum was actually raised on Horlicks and it gave her a lovely complexion, if that’s a route you’d rather try.

**Save every single selfie. In a few months you will be staring in the mirror at two deflated, wrinkly balloons and will need the memories.




Nat Halfpenny


  1. I tried feeding both of my children myself initially but ended up with formula, Yes they both have their pros and cons but the main thing is, so long that baby is happy then Mummy is happy and everybody is happy!

  2. Free was totally the kicker for me. I ended up having to buy several different formulas to top up my kids (they were both rubbish reflux babies and threw up everything and could only tolerate breastmilk for ages) and I totally begrudged every tin I ever bought and chucked. I also like that it’s instant. I never had very patient babies 😉
    They were both crap sleepers though…
    Thanks for joining #chucklemums 😀

  3. Haha, raised on horlicks! I don’t like horlicks. Thanks for linking! On a different note, am I the only woman in the world whose boobs look exactly the same post breastfeeding?! #chucklemums

  4. I breast fed all my babies (still feeding the third now) but I dabbled with formula with my first. You know, when you’re not really sure what you’re doing! My son mostly projectile vomited it when he had it too and it obviously smells even worse when puked up! I must admit I have rather liked being the one to feed, handy for swooping in when relatives steal your baby and despite them crying, still don’t hand them back. Downside is definitely feeding in the night while watching your husband snore away…and then complain of being tired in the morning x

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *