I’m writing this after the school run from hell.
Well, the school run and first hour at home from hell.
I’ve never had a great track record when it comes to the school run, but this is one of those moments I could quite happily skip out of the door and not return.
My God, I love my kids. I do, we all do.
But they can push me to the absolute brink of insanity.
I am wishing someone would come in and say, this is where you are going wrong, simply do X,Y,Z and all will be well. They’re not coming though because this is all on me and I’ve got no clue what I’m doing.
I won’t bore you with the details, but it involved tantrums, shouting, tears, me running faster than I have in years and near death experiences (I’m not exaggerating).
Often when I write about these times I try to share the funny bits and yes there was a few, for example Cherry running towards me holding an imaginary sword with her arm outstretched, booming voice shouting ‘Charge Mummyyyyy’. I admit I did smirk when I’d been seconds from tears.
And yes, me clunking down the street in my boots chasing Lola as she hurtled towards the main road must have been quite the spectacle to behold.
Odd isn’t it, I was legging it, facing the imminent death of my child for all I know and the thought crossed my mind ‘I must look a right tool’.
Probably because, I know my kids. They aren’t stupid enough to actually run into the road, but they are determined enough to make me look a knob in front of every single parent passing with their remarkably more obedient children.
Days like these I just have to throw my hands up and put it down to experience.
Today also happens to be the day I have chosen to go cold turkey on the breastfeeding which is adding to the general in over my head feeling.
The day has been ok but I think I am working myself up about tonight, Jasper still wakes a few times a night (bar the odd fluke) and wants to breastfeed. I’m unsure what to do otherwise? I may have to rope Sam in as he can settle him better without the aid of a boob. Which is just as well really.
So, on I plod.
Taking a deep breath and slowly working my way towards bedtime.
Remind me again how much I’ll miss these days in the future?