Its been a few months now since I wrote what has turned out to be my most popular piece to date. For one reason or another my post on my lack of interest in sex after having my baby has been read 40,000 times and discussed here, there and everywhere.
It was comforting to hear that some of you felt the same, though I knew already I couldn’t be alone in feeling that way.
When the article came out in The Daily Mail readers predicted the demise of our relationship and ‘looked forward’ to seeing how we turned out.
We’re not too far into the future and things have changed, the baby now goes to sleep in the evenings and stays asleep for 3 hours, sometimes 4. I have the chance to do things and re-boot after a day of caring for the 4 of them. Jasper turned 1 this month, but the month has also seen the return of me.
I feel happier than ever. Does this mean mine and Sam’s relationship is picture perfect? No, of course not. 5 nights out of 7 we bicker about the washing up, we clash over what to have for tea, in short we still have no bloody clue what we are doing here.
I suppose I am writing this though to answer a few questions that people may have had, people who where going through what we were going through. Yeah, it gets better. It gets so much better in not too much time. Bit by bit you get back what you had, a version of that anyway. Maybe an even better version.
No one had to feel guilty, or force themselves to do anything they weren’t 100% happy with on the off chance of enjoying it. We didn’t need to question our feelings for each other or enter into crisis talks. The point I think a lot of people missed was, this wasn’t our first stumble on the rocky road to domestic bliss. We are pro’s at this, we know the drill.
Our confidence in talking about this came from knowing we had it in us to get through it and I guess peoples pessimism came from thinking we might not.
Relationships, parenting, life.. its all a journey as cliched as that sounds.
As I read back over the older post today I felt like deleting a few lines, things that sounded too harsh to my mellowed out mind. They were my feelings at the time though and I’m leaving them there.
I believe every relationship changes with the arrival of a new baby, stick with it.
I, personally, think its all going to work out just peachy.